What if Free to Be You and Me
by Katy M VT
Summary: What if it really was Jessica?  AU. Spoilers for the Devil You Know. Chapter 3 of 3 up.
1. Gift From Lucifer

What if it really was Jessica? AU in that Sam isn't Lucifer's vessel.

Sam was trying to sleep after his first night of work at the bar. He was restless. He missed Dean and he felt so guilty for everything he had done. He rolled over.

"Hey, Baby."

"Jessica?" He must be going crazy. Or maybe he was sleeping. "You're not real."

"Yes, I am."

"How is this possible?" Sam asked.

"Well, from what I understand, this isn't the weirdest thing you've ever come across."

"What do you mean?"Sam asked.

"You know that weekend you helped your brother look for your dad?"

"You mean the weekend you…died," Sam said, hesitantly.

"Yes. You were gone and I was making cookies for you. There was a knock on the door and Brady was there."

"Brady?" Sam said, wondering what his best friend had to do with anything.

"Yes. He told me he had to kill me because you were wasting your life. He told me he had introduced us just so that he could kill me. I'm a little fuzzy to what happened next, but I ran into the bedroom to get away from him and the next thing I know I'm sliding up the wall. Then I heard you come in. I saw you lying on the bed. I wanted to yell out to you, but I couldn't. Then I burst into flames, and the last thing I saw was Dean pulling you to safety. I was glad you weren't going to die, too."

"Do you remember anything after that? About being dead?" Sam asked. He couldn't remember anything about the time when he was dead, but Dean remembered Hell.

"No. The next thing I knew I was in this house talking to this man. He told me he brought me back as a reward for you. He couldn't find you, but he said because we were connected, he could send me directly to you. Who was that man?"

"I assume it was the devil," Sam said. He loved Jessica and he missed her and he was so glad she was back with him, but he had a feeling no good could come out of the devil bringing her back.

Jessica considered. That isn't what she thought the devil would look like. "Why would the devil want to reward you?"

"I accidentally freed him," Sam admitted. It was bad enough doing it and having Dean and Bobby know all about it. He didn't want to confess it to Jessica. She was the one pure thing in his life.

"How?"

"It's a long story," Sam said, hoping she would let the subject drop. He was afraid that this wouldn't last. He didn't want to waste his time with her discussing all of his recent mistakes.

"How long have I been dead?"

"Four years."

"Did you find your father?"

"Yeah, but he died." Sam didn't know what he should do about this whole situation. How could he even be sure this was Jessica?

"What about my parents?" Jessica asked. "How are they?" She was sure they must have been sad when she died, but hoped they had managed to move on in four years.

"I don't know," Sam admitted. "I haven't spoken to them since the funeral. They weren't too happy with me."

"Why not?" Jessica asked, confused. Her parents loved Sam.

"Well, our apartment caught fire and you died and I walked away without a scratch. Do the math."

"That wasn't your fault."

"Jess, you've never lost anyone you really loved. You have to blame someone."

"Let's go visit them."

"Your parents? They're going to freak out. We don't even know if this is permanent."

"What do you mean?" Jessica asked.

"Nothing," Sam said. He didn't want to upset Jessica.

"So, we can go?"

"Sure," Sam said. He couldn't stop her from going wherever she wanted. Not if she really was Jessica. But he couldn't unleash her on her parents without any protection if she wasn't.

SSS

"Don't you think we should have called first?" Sam asked as they walked up the path to her parents' door.

"They wouldn't have believed us," Jessica said.

Sam couldn't argue with that. They rang the doorbell.

The door was opened. "Mom!" Jessica said and ran into her mother's arms.

"Jessica? How is this possible?" She looked past Jessica to Sam.

"I don't know," Jessica said. They had decided to tell her parents as little as possible.

"Jason!" she yelled.

"What is it?" Jessica's father asked as he came to the door. "I don't believe it," he said as he saw his daughter.

"Come in," her mother said, as she realized they were standing outside.

They went inside and awkwardly tried to explain how Jessica could be alive. Finally, though, they decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth and just be glad that they had their daughter back.

SSS

Jessica's parents went to bed and Sam and Jessica stayed up to watch the news. There was a news report about fire and hail. "That's weird," Jessica said.

"Yeah," Sam said. After Jessica went to bed, Sam pulled out his laptop and did some research. His fears were confirmed when he found out that these were Apocalpytic omens.

He pulled out his phone. He scrolled through the names and he stopped when he came to Dean's. He couldn't call Dean. He scrolled down one more name and called Bobby.

"Hey, Bobby. How are you?" Sam greeted.

"Fine," Bobby answered. He wasn't really, but Sam had his own problems.

"I think I've found some signs, a small town in Oklahoma. We've had hail storms and fire, and I think blood may be following shortly."

"OK. Is there a reason you're calling me?" Bobby asked. He was pretty useless without his legs.

Sam misunderstood. "Didn't Dean tell you?"

"Yeah, he told me," Bobby sighed. He wished those two boys would just realize they were better off together.

"So, I figured you might want to get a hunter on this."

"Sure, let's see. Who's the best hunter who may be in the area? Oh, yeah, that would be you."

"I can't Bobby. I'm out of it." Sam said and hung up. He didn't trust himself around demons and now he had Jessica to watch out for, too.

SSS

Bobby sat staring at the phone after Sam had hung up. He knew just the hunter to put on this little project. He dialed the phone.


	2. Demon Block Party

"Hey, Bobby," Dean answered the phone.

"What are you working on?" Bobby asked.

"Cas and I were just looking up an archangel to help with his God hunt, but it turned out to be a bust."

"There are some Apocalypse signs in Oklahoma you might want to check out. Hail storms and fire."

Dean relayed the info to Cas. "There are probably demons there," Castiel said.

"Wanna check it out with me?" For all his pronouncements of being alone and happy, Dean knew it wasn't true. He was the type of person who had to be around other people. His parents were dead and Sam was off somewhere. Bobby was in a wheelchair and couldn't help him hunt. Cas was probably the best he could do.

"Might as well." Cas had never been depressed before. He was an angel and didn't have emotions until lately. So, he didn't really know what he was feeling. But like Dean, he didn't feel like being alone.

"We're on our way," Dean told Bobby and hung up the phone.

"How did Bobby find out about that?"

"Didn't ask. Probably the news," Dean answered.

SSS

Sam and Jessica went out to dinner. Jessica wanted to hear the whole truth about Sam's life and figured her parents didn't need to hear it.

"So, you grew up hunting ghosts and demons?" Jessica asked.

"Yes, that's why I never wanted to talk about my family.

"I would have understood."

Sam laughed. "You understand now because you've come back from the dead. You would have thought I was crazy."

"You're probably right. So, where's Dean?"

"He's off hunting somewhere. I recently quit hunting."

"Why?"

"I did some really stupid things. I became addicted to something. I'm dangerous. I need to stay as far away from demons as I can."

Jessica decided not to push it. Sam was being very forthcoming with her and if some stuff was still too difficult to talk about then she would respect that.

They walked outside after eating.

"Dean," Sam said when he saw Dean and Castiel walking up to them. "What are you doing here?"

"Bobby sent me. Is that Jessica?"

"Hi, Dean," Jessica said.

"Is she human?" Dean asked Castiel.

"As far as I can tell. She's not a demon or a shapeshifter."

"Who is this?" Jessica asked.

"Castiel. He's an angel."

"Really?" Jessica asked. That sounded a lot better than the rest of the stuff Sam had been telling her about.

"What's going on, Sam?" Dean asked. If his stupid brother had sold his soul, he was going to kill him.

"Apparently Jessica is a gift from Lucifer—for letting him out," Sam admitted. He wasn't going to let Dean send Jessica back, though. Normally, he wouldn't dream of accepting anything from Lucifer and he certainly wouldn't have asked him for anything, but not that Jess was back, she was going to stay back.

"Huh," Dean said. This was a difficult situation. They couldn't "return" this gift, but who knew what accepting a gift like this would cost later.

"So, you're here for the demonic omens?" Sam asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, how did you know about that?"

"I'm the one that called Bobby about it."

"Are they because of you, or Jessica?" Dean asked.

"I don't think so. They started before we got to town," Sam answered.

"What are you doing here?" Dean thought to ask.

"This is where I'm from. I wanted to see my parents," Jessica answered, feeling left out of the conversation.

"Sam! Dean!" they heard from behind them. They turned to look.

"Hey, guys," Dean said, recognizing his dad's friends. They had only hunted with them a few times, and then predictably, John had done something to piss them off and they hadn't seen them again.

"We were in the area and Bobby said you might be able to use some help. He also said Sam was off limits," he said as he looked towards Sam and a girl.

"Yeah, I'm out. You guys have fun," Sam said and left with Jessica.

"What was all that about? We could really use all hands on deck?"

"He's out. It's personal," Dean said. He didn't know these guys well enough to let them in on what was going on.

"Let's go find some demons," Rick said.

"Sounds good. Cas, why don't you go look into that thing we were just talking about?" Dean suggested. He wanted to get to the bottom of this Jessica thing as soon as possible.

"I don't know who this guy is, but like I said, all hands on deck," Rick said.

"Go," Dean said, and mouthed, walk away. He didn't need these guys freaking out when Cas just disappeared.

"I'll be back when I've found something out," Castiel promised and walked around the building until he was out of sight.

"What's more important than this?"

"It's related, OK? Let's go."

SSS

"There's demons inside," Dean whispered. "Let's split up. Reggie and I will go this way. You and Steve go that way."

They all nodded and went their separate directions.

"What are you going to do with that knife?" Reggie asked.

"This is a special knife. It kills demons."

"Really? I've never heard of such a thing."

"As far as I know, it's the only one," Dean said.

"Where'd you get it?"

"Long story."

The conversation ended when they came upon some demons. They started fighting with them, and Dean stabbed a couple, while Reggie started exorcising.

SSS

Rick and Steve came upon some demons themselves. "Did we see you talking with Sam Winchester? Any friend of Sam's is a friend of ours."

"What are you talking about? Sam's a hunter. He's not a friend of demons."

"Oh, he's our best friend. He let Lucifer out and started all this."

Rick wasn't falling for this for a second. "Yeah, right. How would he have done that?"

"He drank demon blood and used his demonic psychic powers to kill Lillith and break the last seal, freeing Lucifer."

Steve took advantage of the demon's distraction of conversing with Rick and began saying an exorcism.

One of the demons walked up to him and stuck his hand through his chest and pulled his heart out.

"No!" Rick yelled and tackled one of the demons. He stabbed him with a knife, which did nothing except cause blood to flow. He remembered what the demon had said about Sam and demon blood and killing a demon. He quickly recited an incantation some once taught him to knock demons out. Then he cut the demon and collected the blood.


	3. Cocktail

"Well, we're going to go up to bed," Jessica's mother said.

"Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad."

"I'm almost scared to go to sleep. This might turn out to be a dream."

"It's not a dream. I think you should take one of my sleeping pills or you'll never get to sleep because of the excitement."

"Good idea."

And with that Jessica's parents got ready for bed and fell into a deep slumber.

Downstairs, Jessica and Sam were once again watching the news when there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" Jessica asked, looking at her watch. She got up to answer the door, with Sam following close behind.

"Oh, it's one of your friends," Jessica said.

Sam couldn't see who it was, but was hoping and maybe dreading that it was Cas with some news. But when Jessica moved out of the way, he saw it was Rick.

"Where's everybody else?" Sam asked.

"Rick's dead. Demon's tore his heart out."

"I'm sorry," Sam said.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Sam?"

"Like what?" Sam asked, confused. He didn't have anything to do with this hunt. Rick couldn't possibly be blaming him for Steve's death.

"I heard a little something from a demon tonight."

Oh, crap. That couldn't be good. "Demons lie."

Rick pulled out a vial of red liquid. Sam knew immediately what it was. "Get that away from me," he said backing up.

"Sam, what's going on?" Jess asked. She couldn't understand why Sam would be afraid of a vial of what looked like blood.

Rick put the vial down on the end table next to the door. He then pulled out a knife and grabbed Jessica with his other hand. He pulled her to him and put the knife next to her throat. "You're going to drink that and then you're going to kill the demon that killed my best friend, or I kill her."

"You don't mean that," Sam said. Hunters didn't kill innocent people.

"Watching your best friend die makes you rethink all kinds of things."

Just then, Dean and Reggie came in. "What's going on?" Dean asked.

"Steve's dead," Rich answered.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Sam and Jessica didn't kill him," Dean said, unsure of what was going on.

"No. Sam did something much worse."

"What?" Reggie asked.

"He started the Apocalypse. The demons told me all about it. And now he's going to drink that demon blood and kill the demon that killed Steve."

Nobody moved. Jessica was crying. Rich was holding her in front of him, so Sam and Dean couldn't attempt a rescue. Sam wasn't sure what he should do. He couldn't let Jessica die and he could drink demon blood. Dean was worried about Sam not that the truth was out and Reggie just didn't know what to make of the whole situation. It sounded crazy.

"NOW!" Rich yelled. "You have 3 seconds to drink or I slit her pretty little throat."

"OK," Sam said and put his hands up and walked over to the table.

"Sammy, no," Dean said.

"What am I supposed to do, Dean?" Sam asked as he picked up the vial. "Do you really expect me to let him kill Jessica?"

Dean sighed. He knew that Sam couldn't allow that to happen. He watched as Sam emptied the contents of the vial into his mouth. Then Sam nodded to Rich.

"OK," Rich said and pushed Jessica over to Dean. "Let's go," he said to Sam.

Sam spit out the blood. He hadn't swallowed. Dean was amazed. He hadn't expected that. He was so proud of Sam. He took it all back. He could trust Sam.

Rich started throwing punches at Sam and he easily deflected them. He was ten years younger and had at least 20% more muscle. It was no contest. Dean stood comforting Jessica. Reggie just watched. He still had no idea what was going on. He found it hard to believe that John Winchester's son had started the Apocalypse. He thought maybe Rich had gone insane or something.

Sam had the upper hand and got Rich's knife away from him. He brought it down towards his neck and Jessica gasped. Sam looked up at her and saw the horrified expression on her face. He couldn't kill in front of her. He grabbed Rich up and shoved him out the door. "Get out of here," he yelled.

"I'll make sure he leaves you alone," Reggie promised and followed Rich out the door. He shut it behind him.

"Are you OK, Jess?" Sam asked.

"Yes. But I've never seen you so angry. You looked like some kind of animal," she said, trying to hide behind Dean. She was afraid of Sam. She didn't think that could ever have been possible, but Sam had obviously changed a lot in the four years since her death.

"Jess, I would never hurt you. You know that, right?" Sam asked. He could see the fear in Jessica's eyes and hated that he was the one that was causing it.

"Maybe you should go."

"Jess, please."

"Sam," Dean said. "Let's go." He could feel Jessica trembling behind him. He wished it could be different. He had been around when Jessica had first died. Sam had been so torn up, so guilty. Dean wished he could have a second chance. But he couldn't. Too much had happened. Sam had changed, and grown away from what he had been when he was with Jessica. Jessica had, in effect, been frozen in time.

"I love you, Jessica," Sam said and opened the door. He turned back for one last look, but she was running up the stairs.

"Come on, Sam," Dean said. "I think your little hunting break is over."

"But we don't trust me," Sam said.

"Sam, you just had demon blood in your mouth and didn't drink it. I think you'll be OK," Dean pointed out.

"Dean, I've missed her so much."

"I know you have, Sammy. But you probably wouldn't have been happy with her anyway."

"How can you say that?"

"If she hadn't died and you had married her four years ago, and assuming Yellow Eyes never came for you, you could have lived happily ever after. But since she died, you did the same thing Dad did. You romanticized her and made her perfect in her mind. The real her would never have lived up. Just be glad you had these couple days with her and that she gets to live."

"I guess I can try. I am happy that she's alive. I just wish…"

"I know, Sammy. Let's go."

The End


End file.
